im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
