Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
