I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Randomize
