Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
