let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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