so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
