The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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