What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
