hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
