walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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