Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
