so that wasnt chicken after all
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
