and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
