playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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