we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Randomize
