Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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