Kiss
Puke
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
