How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
