Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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