He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
