I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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