Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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