shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
