Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
