i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Girls should come with a carfax report
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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