OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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