He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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