please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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