Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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