you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I am one with the molecules
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
