At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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