forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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