and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
