my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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