Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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