He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
