This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
