Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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