People in love make me want to vomit
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
