I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Apparently you make a good broom.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
