that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
