I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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