I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
