let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
