yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
