you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
