she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
