Your dad touched me again.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
