U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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