i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
