...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i don't like sucking hair
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
