haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
