he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
