big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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