I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
